I’m able to climb again and to push hard, I can run, I can spend the entire day outsides and feeling good after.
Those things has been a big part of my daily life for so long until the day when I became really sick by the end of February.
To be honest, the last three months hasn’t been easy at all but it turned out to become the most richest experience in my life so far.
Imagine, I’ve been an active person my hole life long and my identifie has been created mostly due to my climbing achievements, my big will, my talent to push hard and to my big confident in life.
By the end of February, my life has been directed by this strange thing that entered in my body. I survived, but since then I had to deal with a fragile body, which was completly new to me. I learned a lot, but I went through a lot of non-funny things and I lost my big joy of life and a lot of positiv energy.
Then the day arrived when I accepted all of this and since I feel mostly good. I also realized that this dark sides of my character are part of mine and I learned to be fine with that. It’s funny to see how much the mindset can add to your well being and how sweet life can be with a positive approach.
There are still some tuff lessons I have to go through. It’s really hard to find the connection with my body again. Sometimes I move and afterwards I have this strange feeling and I dont’ know if it’s because I pushed to hard or because my body isn’t used to this anymore. I was really smooth with my body during all this time. I had completely to put away the athlete aspect which I’ve never done before in my life. I took some weight which was necessary to my body to recover as this fast, but this is also new to me and super strange.
At the moment I don’t have a high climbing level, at all. Yesterday it was the first time where I was able to fight really hard again. It was in a 8a+ route. You know, once you had a solid 8b+/8c level in your life, it’s not easy for the head to be motivated to fight really hard in a lower level. I imagine that this happens to all of us. But hey, I tried really hard and I pushed my personal limits. It was such a wonderful feeling. I felt so happy to do this again, fighting hard and then clipping the chain with this huge smile on my face.
It’s important to me to have this connection with my body and to feel this high energy, but’s its not all anymore.
Due to the experience I made this last months, I was able to see and to feel how I am, without this Nina-machina athlete aspect. I found out what’s important to me in life, what else makes me happy than moving and doing sports and what life has to offer.
I’m lucky to feel mostly good again and I’m really confident in life. It takes me wherever it has to, even if it’s tuff sometimes.
Love life…
