I had five more meters left. My feet were standing on good footholds, my hands shaking the pump out of my forearms. I had freed all the pitches of Yeah Man so far and I had to keep it together for the final slab. While resting, I leaned my cheek on the rock and told myself with a big smile:
I live my best life ever.
One year ago, on July 3. I gave birth to my daughter Lia. The first few months was a real rollercoaster; Lia was born with a heart malformation and had open heart surgery at 3 months of age. (Read more about Lia’s story in the previous blog).
Sometimes I can’t believe what was happening, time flew by as we moved on. During that period of time, I didn’t care much about anything. I was absorbed by Lia’s health and explored emotions I didn’t even know existed.
The outcome of the surgery was surprisingly positive and we could now breath. Lia’s heart has been fixed and little by little our lives returned back to normal, well, as soon as I can say a normal life after becoming a mom.
Around New Year’s Eve, when Lia was six months old, I found myself dreaming about a longer climbing route. I felt like all my hormones were back to a normal balance so I started training, empowered by my new dreams. We hired a 19-year-old climber Pauline Mahoe as our au pair which was the smartest idea we had. Besides being an excellent care for Lia and help at home, Pauline became my climbing partner. I found something in her that reminded me of a younger Nina. Pauline is full of climbing dreams, talented in everything she does, curious, willing to learn and to work hard, the perfect match!
Winter and spring passed by like a TGV to Paris. My partner Jérémy worked a lot; he’s a photographer in the ski industry and was away shooting quite often. During that time, Pauline and I went rock climbing as much as we could. Lia was still pretty easy to handle since she slept a lot and couldn’t walk yet. I realized that Pauline was not just a climber. She was totally into rock climbing and adventuring. It was very refreshing to see her move on rocks and how much she’s in love with the outdoors. After a couple of months, I asked if she would partner up to climb a hard multipitch this summer. Her eyes were shining and she said yes.
Some months later, the two of us approached a 350m long multipitch called “Yeah Man” in the Gastlosen. This long 9 pitch route is situated in the country of “le Gruyère”, in the heart of Switzerland.
I felt nervous before we left home and had plenty of doubts. I couldn’t stop telling myself that this was a ridiculous idea since I was so much out of practice. It has been a long time since I have worked on a multipitch route and I haven’t climb 14a for years. Jérémy was very supportive and he pushed me to at least try. He also offered full care of Lia, so that Pauline and I could climb together. I had all the cards in my hands so we left home beginning of June with the idea to spend all summer in the Gastlosen. We travelled in Andrea, our second home. We fixed a baby seat in the front cabin and put Pauline in the back travelling on our bed. I felt deeply touched by this image as joy and excitement overcame me. When we arrived in Jaun, a very small and charming mountain town, I knew I was at the right place doing the right thing.
Next morning, we left camp with our heavy backpacks. We took the lift up, biked towards the cliff and hiked for another 30 minutes. I forgot how painful it was to carry heavy packs and I was wondering if Pauline would keep up. Pauline’s tall thin frame didn’t seem very strong; but she’s actually way more solid than she looks. We talked about strategies during the approach and we got all excited to start climbing.
I took the lead on the first pitch. That 7a+ felt super hard and I was afraid to fall. When I reached the chain, Pauline realized that I was on the wrong route; an old 7c+ route and so I came back to the ground and restarted. This time the first pitch felt like 7a+ and I made quick progress. I introduced Pauline to hauling and other useful big wall techniques and we fixed the first 3 pitches with static ropes that same day (7a+, 7b+, 7b+). Tired and happy we abseiled down just before a big storm. We walked back to our bikes and in the crisp mountain air we rode back to the valley. On the bike I realized that my family was waiting back at camp and this big wave of joy overcame me.
I have to admit that in the past, I often felt lonely coming down from a wall. The feelings I share with my climbing partner are always very high and intense with emotions. Back on the ground, those feelings disappear and often what’s left is a deep empty hole. This time it was different. Back in camp my heart was jumping. All the emotions I felt while kissing and snuggling Lia and Jérémy were higher than the emotions I felt on the wall.
The next day we jumared up to the high point and we warmed up on the next 7c. The first 4 pitches were absolutely lovely to climb, every pitch was long and steep with good holds.
Pitch 5 is where the real business started: A super tricky, long 8a+ on a slab with some hard cruxes on miniscule holds. Due to its rare ascensions, we were the first party this year on the route. There was no chalk and very few black marks on the footholds. It took me forever to reach the chain and I felt stressed. I was out of practice and did not yet have the sense to climb slabs. Pauline climbed pretty easily on top-rope and I felt relieved that she took the lead on the next pitch to figure out the moves.
Different style: a very short and bouldery 8a, starting with a weird crack, followed by a huge boulder problem on bad slopers. This part eliminates small people because of its long reach as there are no other options on that blank section. We invested quite a bit of time and heard from other people that this pitch was somehow the key pitch in themes of physical capacities. Once we found the beta, Pauline with her 1,80m size made it look pretty easy. I struggled for real and had to glue my face to the wall in order to reach the sloper.
After pitch 6, we reached a nice little niche and we talked about sleeping up there on our portaledges. I was totally open to the idea since I couldn’t imagine sending the entire 9 pitches in a single day. I liked having options and no matter the choice we chose, I knew it would be the good one.
From this point we could clearly see the headwall above us and its 45m long 8b+. We got so damn excited that the next day we quickly made our way up on the static ropes and climbed the following 8a to stand on the bottom of the key pitch. I sent Pauline to figure out the moves of the 8b+. It was a nice feeling to rely on her fitness and so she went for a long battle! It took her almost 2 hours to reach the top. Pauline disappeared from my view and took multiple big falls and on the last slab. This physical distance with your partner high up on the wall is unique. We were not able to talk since we couldn’t hear each other. We were not able to look since we couldn’t see each other. You simply feel the movements of the rope, you listen to the noise of clipping a quickdraw and the sound of your own breath. Those moments are unique since you enter into a symbiosis with your partner. I lowered Pauline and although she looked tired, she was shining. I felt gratitude roping up with her and sharing this adventure with such a young person.
While tying my knot I felt nervous, curious and psyched at the same time. The first move felt good and the higher I got, the more I realized how perfectly shaped this 8b+ was and how great it felt climbing on it: Slightly overhanging, small crimps, tons of footholds; a mixture of endurance and power endurance, ending with a tricky slab after 45 meters of climbing.
I fell in love with the entire route and from that moment on, Nina machina was back: I had this endless power and energy. Every day I felt I made huge progressions as I have never felt so good and balanced in my life. Having my family around me during the entire process gave me wings. Jérémy offered me so much freedom. He knew how important that project was to me, and we all had a really good, peaceful time in Jaun. I felt free as I was before becoming a mom.
On our rest days we followed Jérémy and Lia’s desires and it felt like a natural flow. When Pauline and I were on the wall, Jérémy would hike or bike with Lia, eat Röschti and play. Every day I could see how much closer the two of them got.
On our fourth day on the wall, Pauline sent the 8a+ and the bouldery 8a and I made some good links. On our fifth day on the wall, I sent the 8b+ pitch and I was seriously out of words when I did. I can’t describe what happened to me. Pauline simply said: “You looked like you were in your own little world, calm, efficient and focused.” The fact that I sent that key pitch made me want to start trying from the ground. And so we tried.
The day after we packed our bivi and slept at the bottom of the wall in order to make a proper alpine start the next day. The sun hits the wall around 3pm and we wanted to have enough time. I was keen to try a team-free ascent and Pauline was in.
Next day at 7am I started climbing and we both freed every pitch up to the 8b+. I had to climb pitch 4 twice since I had a fall on that 7c, but the rest went smooth and fall free. I surprised myself sending for the first time the 8a+ and the reachy 8a.
All of a sudden, we were both sitting in our harnesses just before the 8b+ and I felt the adrenaline in my body. All day I focused being in the present by taking move by move and I realized how alive I felt doing so. I pushed myself back into the mindset I had two days ago before sending that key pitch. I rested enough, ate some dried mangos and when I felt ready, I closed my eyes and climbed the entire pitch in my mind. I remembered every single hold and foothold. I felt the way I had to move my body and how much force I had to put on every single hold. I remembered all the different body positions, the way I needed to breath and the rhythm of every section of the route.
When I started climbing, a nice breeze came up. A quiet planet earth landed on climbing planet Nina. I knew what I had to do and all the fatigue in my body dissipated. During the next 30 minutes, climbing was the absolute most important thing in my life and I was 200% focused……. then I was standing on this big foothold just before the final part and I slowed my heartbeat down. My cheek was laying on the wall and with a big smile on my face I told myself: I live my best life ever. I then finished the pitch, followed by some loud screams of joy while clipping the chain. I came back to the start of the pitch and Pauline was so happy for me. She gave me a big hug and we talked about betas in our own climbing language.
Then it was her turn but after climbing all day up to this point, she felt tired. She gave it 3 tries, with no success. She had enough energy to summit and so I climbed the last 6c and she followed shortly after.
Although we missed our team free ascent by little, we both knew that we made the best out of it and that Pauline would need some more time to free. Climbing those long routes requires both physical and mental strength. I felt gratitude that I could rely on my strong mindset and my almost 15 years of experience on multipitch climbing.
We spent some time on the summit, enjoyed the view of the Eiger, Mönch and Jungfrau and made our way down slowly on the static ropes. When we got closer to the ground, I spotted Jérémy hiking up towards the wall with Lia in his backpack. That moment, when we reached the bottom of the route, I kissed my loved ones; it was the absolute best moment of my life.
It was not just about Pauline and I climbing the route, it was also of a family moving together, hand in hand. It was about the strong bond built with Jérémy, mostly due to our daughter’s health issues. About the endless respect and the space we give each other to evolve as individuals. It was about welcoming Pauline with arms wide open to give her the chance to grow and to fully express herself in this new family.
Pauline sent the 8b+ later in July when we went back for filming. She was extremely satisfied with her performance and didn’t feel the need to send the entire route in a single push. I’m so proud of her and personally satisfied that I had the opportunity to share my experience and knowledge to the younger generation.
Indeed, I live my best life ever.
I climbed Yeah Man in memorial to my good friend Giovanni Quirici who lost his life at the Eiger north face. He was a unique person and such a big inspiration for me.
Gio, I could hear your laughs when I was standing on the summit. You will always be in our minds.