What could I learn from this, that I could not learn any other way?
It has been a while since my last writing. To be honest, I’m not really good at it. I can only write about a climbing adventure, a performance, or something extraordinary I did in my career. I’m having a hard time writing my emotions down, I’m afraid of showing something than my strong side. But the current circumstances are perfect for writing about deeper things. So I will try.
For the last 15 years, climbing has been my guideline in life. I have built my career, my income, and my relationships on my passion for climbing adventures. I have always climbed routes that I was psyched for and at some point, other people got inspired and supported me. I know what I want to do, what drives me, and I go for. Having a passion for something is such a gift!
I grew up doing all kinds of sports. When I got into ski touring and scrambling in the mountains at the age of 13, I found myself challenged every single day and I couldn’t get enough. By the age of 17 I was getting more and more into rock climbing, and I learned that how important it is to have a healthy body and strong mind to improve.
Since then I push my limits, I simply love it. My curiosity to see how far I can go is a real addiction. This curiosity has occupied every single hour of every day for the last 20 years. I live climbing, I dream climbing, I eat and drink climbing. It is always there. Because of this strong driving force, I have refused everything that could take me off route or slow me down. I calculated everything, not always consciously, but still. In my climbing, my movement on rock, I’m very freestyle, in the absolute flow. But the rest of my life I have kept a little bit tight.
For almost two years now, I can feel myself getting tired of hanging on so tight. In 2018, I teamed up for the first time with Lynn Hill and that was a game changer for me.
We became partners, but more than that, she became a trusted friend. She somehow showed me that there is a way to be an athlete and a wonderful and generous person at the same time.
She has been very honest about her experiences and the choices she made in her life. The more time we spent together, especially hanging on a big wall, the more I opened up and learned about life.
Today I’m 33 years old (the age of Christ!) and I think it’s time to let go of certain things and to make some room for other things to grow.
This opportunity to stay home here, without so much distraction, how can I use it to find my inner voice, my intuition. When I am climbing a route, moving on rock, my experience and intuition guides me to climb the rock as I find it. I know what the moves will be, I can guess what the next hold will feel like. How to I find that inner intelligence on the ground? In my relationships? To move through life without fear, freestyle, like I do when I climb?