We all have a different past. We evolved in different ways influenced by our environment and shaped by it.
Obviously, I have dedicated many hours of my life to climbing, and it is a fixed part of my life. It has been an education, self-directed, focused on my body, my mind, and how I interact with my environment. As I have dedicated so much time becoming really good at this one thing, I am finding these days that there are certainly areas of life-education that I need to catch up on.
One of them is learning how to interact with humans. Tough one. I can imagine that during this period of confinement we are all learning more about relationships. We have all been cut off from our favorite activities. Our freedom to move around, to go out, even close to home, is not the same as before. And many of us live with other people. All the time. The same people. Very close to us. All the time.
I have to admit I have never lived in these circumstances before. Because I have built my life around my climbing, I have kept my home life small and light to allow for nearly constant travelling. I have been following the changing seasons and my changing inspirations, always doing basically whatever I wanted to do with no one else to answer to. I have never found one place where I wanted to stay and to accept the local rhythm all year long. And I have never had a serious desire to start a family or to settle down. Excitement and adventure have been my engine and this life has always fulfilled me. I have had beautiful partnerships over these years, but the relationship has always had to adapt to this way of living that I love.
Staying in one place, with one person, facing a routine, dealing with human emotions and staying committed to a situation even if it costs me time and energy that I would rather spend on climbing and adventures, is a thing I have avoided all my life. The option to escape has always been there, and as climbing is also my work it has been easy to justify leaving. When tough emotions came up, I took off dancing up a wall. Climbing seemed to be my problem solver, I could get some distance from hard emotional things, and make decisions with a clear head.
Now we are confined. Wow, what a game changer! What an opportunity for me to learn to face things I never faced before: Staying in one place as the seasons change, community thinking and living, no climbing or hikes in the mountains, no walls to climb on, no fans to feed my ego.
About 6 months ago I started feeling things I had never felt before. Somehow a whispering voice has been there, but I had a hard time listening to it because my life as a professional climber was so full. There has been no empty space, no room, no calm period where I could sit still and listen to this whisper.
And then, well, confinement time arrived somehow at the perfect moment in my life. Like I told you before, sometimes I miss dancing up a wall so much that I have to cry. On the other hand, this confinement has helped me see the deeper reasons why I climb today. Climbing is how I communicate with nature, with my environment. I love to touch rocks and play with shapes and body positions, get to know a piece of nature so intimately. I really love spending my time in nature or close to it. Even as I am not going rock climbing, every day I go outside. I’m fascinated by the beauty, the smells and colours of our backyard. I love to see new things growing as the snow is melting, and learn how to use different plants, flowers, and seeds as they appear. My life right now has zero adrenaline, zero “action”, zero “excitement”, and this is rather new.
To live together with 5 people in a small house for six weeks (so far) with zero climbing is so new to me. I have the impression I am catching up on many lessons that I have missed in my life.
Honestly, I have never felt so calm before, and my mind is very clear (even without climbing). The option of running away as soon as a relationship becomes complicated does not exist. So I slowly start to develop other skills. Whereas I may typically think in terms of “me” and “my projects” first, I accept that “me” is not really relevant. Now it’s about “us.”
I imagine that so many of you are going through similar experiences as I am right now. Even though not everyone has my same lifestyle, we always seem to find ways to escape. Our work, sports, other obsessions, keep us busy and let us avoid the natural challenges of human relationships. Now we’re stuck at home. Some of us with more freedom because they have a garden or live somewhere more remote. Others are in tiny apartments in the city. Some become violent, some creative. Some are anxious, some are calm.
No matter how your personal situation looks, I invite you to see this as a big opportunity to face yourself, to be kind with yourself and the people you’re living with. This isolation can lead us back to essentials, to see what really matters to us. I’m confident that with the right attitude, we will all grow in a beautiful way.