I grew up with a fear of drugs. My mother has smoked cigarettes since she was a teenager and she grew up in a family touched by alcoholism. So she raised her 3 kids, Cathrin, Arno and Nina surrounded by the fear that we could get addicted to drugs. She made us a deal: if we didn’t take up smoking before we turned 18, she would pay for a big trip. I made use of that money when I was 22 to go to Argentina, Tuzgle, one of my first climbing trips!
When I was a teenager I would sneak around and party with alcohol on the weekends, along with all of my friends. I never smoked cigarettes, though. I hated my mom’s smoking and wanted nothing to do with that. I also refused to smoke weed or to take any drugs.
Despite my weird relationship with drugs and my fears of addiction, I’ve always been addicted to sports, especially climbing. When people try to explain the effects of getting stoned, I see no difference from when I climb on rocks. Climbing in total flow changes my perceptions: my eyes are wide open, my pupils are huge even in the full sun, my breath is calm despite the physical effort, my muscles don’t know fatigue. I feel like I’ve become a magician, that I have super powers. Every gesture is natural, fluid and guides me to the summit.
Nina CAPREZ and Cédric LACHAT climb Orbayu, pitch 5, 8c – Naranjo de Builnes, Picos de Europa, Spain.
For almost 10 days we have been confined due to COVID-19 and to be truly honest with you, so far it has been one of the richest experience of my life. As a life-long climber and a bit of a rebel, it’s nice to just follow the rules for once. The government has put restrictions on us, severely limiting our movements and activities, to protect vulnerable people. It feels right to work together and to contribute, knowing that lots of people on the planet are going through the same.
The confinement makes room for new things, it brings us closer together, and crazy and stupid ideas are coming to life! For example, last night. I had the courage to open up myself imposed limits concerning drugs. I got stoned, for the very first time in my life. It went bad, I lived one of the worst moment of my life. I became very negative and dark, aggressive, mad, I completely lost my shit.
After a cold shower this morning and a cup of coffee, I realized that the choices that I made in the past were right. This state of flow I get into while climbing is very powerful in my life. I do not feel it when I do other activities, even those that require great concentration. No drug could replace that state of flow I am in while climbing.
My fear and resistance, even judgement, about drugs, has been with me since childhood, since my mother instilled in us the fear that she felt in her childhood. I am living now with people who do not have the same fears. I’ve listened without judgement, to learn about other people’s experiences, and it helps me to break down my fear. There is some wisdom in their approach, and I’m learning that it is ok to release control once in a while.
But honestly, I thank God that he has gifted me with climbing. In my point of view, it’s the best and healthiest addiction I could have.